Lightning, gummy bears, and shaking hands.

You struck my heart like lightning, flashing across the sky of me in an instant and I'm blinded hoping for you.
Your stupid laugh and tone deaf voice leaves me smiling like they just figured out how to bottle sunshine.
I hate this feeling because it's needy and that's something I never want to be to you.
Every time I see you my hands start shaking and my breath gets short and my face turns a shade of red impossible to hide.
Something about the way you love Heath Ledger and gummy bears makes me think that somehow you would be okay to love.
But you aren't.

Nothing

Innocence is easy and ignorance is bliss- don't argue otherwise. But innocence will always be lost, no matter how hard you try to keep a child in the dark. I'm ready to fall into the twisted world, so let me go.
I'm ready to try my hand at having my own identity, no longer being chained to everything you are. I'm ready to throw off the title of child. So let me go! Let me go before I suffocate! I am not part of you, I left the womb and now I'm ready to leave you behind.
Your pathetic need sickens me, I can't stand to look at you.
I don't know where this is going but I'll be happy as long as it's away.

Relationships don't matter in zero gravity

Someone turn the gravity off so
when I stop caring and
let go I
don't have to hit the ground.

Free-fall is easy and
peaceful to a point, almost
like nothing matters anymore and
I can just exist without trying.

Cause right now I'm
trying so fucking hard every
day and still you're smoke
and I am hands trying to catch you.

I am still a
million things at once that
are part of a puzzle, "Which
one of these does not belong?"

allofthem.

I don't know who to be
with you or what is
okay with you and
it's too hard to keep up.

So to get to my
point, I'm done
trying so fucking hard
for your attention.

Go ahead and break it, it's just my heart.

I'm getting a little sick of putting my best face forward only to get slapped.
Like a masochistic puppy waiting to be kicked I
reach out to you again and again.
Talking to you is reliving my greatest fear
over and over
Loving someone- actually CARING-
more than they do.
You don't notice. Even though with every word I try to convey how much you mean to me
you laugh and joke
and hurt me.
And you don't notice.

Revolution isn't that complicated

Let's start a revolution of smiles, a movement so unexpected and extraordinarily mundane that it will turn the world on its head.
Let's have a day where we smile at every single person we see, watch them stare back at us in awe because they can't remember the last time they saw a stranger smile.
Let's live a life where we forget the bad things, where no one needs to ask forgiveness because it's given unconsciously.
Let's have a friendship that makes people do a double take because it's real and uncorrupted by hidden agendas.
Let's reach out a thousand hands to a thousand of the needy in unison, so we can lean on the combined strength of all of us to pull them out of need.
Let's make a pact to do things for ourselves, not to prove something to someone else or to try and beat someone else.
Let's exist in a way that reflects our brotherhood of humans.

Dream Within a Dream

A chariot awaited
the girl with curly hair.
She placed her golden self upon the seat.
The world flashed-
color-
gray-
color-
until the third sky broke.

Distant laughter and forgotten happiness
plunged through the sunlight into her
memory.
She remembered,
she remembered!
There was a family,
not perfect, but potentially.
She remembered,
she remembered!
It was her fault they broke.

The break is too complete to heal-


And then I woke up.

I woke up crying and I told you about my nightmare disguised as a wonderland and your sad eyes made me believe you understood because that's what best friends do.

But it was a dream
within a dream,
because I woke up-
for real-
alone.

Carpe Diem [?]

My heart is beating as fast as I'm driving and the air is alive- how, I don't know. I scream and laugh and choke on the freedom but it's gone in a flash of lightening. The rain erased who I was and with my arms figuratively spread wide I embraced what might be.

It might be that I don't stop driving until I'm far enough away to never hear my name again. It might be that I spin off the rainslick road and give my body back to the dirt.

But what is is me, turning onto my dark street and turning the music down so I don't wake the neighbors.