The day after is filled with regret

I wish I could talk to you but pride's got my tongue. You do this every time. Every time I get mad and blow up, a day later you make me feel like a stereotypical, bitchy, vindictive girl who expects too much. I don't even think you do it on purpose. But please, can you get off my mind and out of my heart? I'd like my life back.

Life is in the Small Things

-Cogs-

It’s the sound of rain as hitting the roof when you’re inside

It’s the way he smiles more with one side of his mouth than the other

It’s the rabbit you only see for a second before it hides itself

It’s her hair, frizzy and wild and beautiful if only because it is hers

It’s the taste of cold pizza in the middle of the night

It’s an old toy that was never packed up or given away

It’s the scent of a day under the sweltering sun

It’s the way your breathing changes when you think about it

It’s the slightly off taste of non-sugar sweeteners

-Alicia-

It's the way the sun hits your face in just the right way so you feel like an angel

It's the way you hug someone a little longer trying to tell them you care

It's that one person absolutely anything, even if it's stupid

It's his voice, beautiful and tone deaf

It's the way the wind smells when there's nothing but sun in the sky

It's that person you can recognize by the back of their head in a crowd

It's that one chord on the piano that makes you shiver

It's the nights you stayed up past three AM just thinking

Posion flood that destroys all walls

it is dark into the night when my walls come
crashing
crashing down in a flood
of words and lyrics and thought i wish i didn't think.
it is a sweet, painful release of poison
blooming inside me every day.
all i want is just once for my flood of poison
to mix
with your flood of poison.
just to taste your poison.
just to know it's there.
but
you love to help me rebuild my walls
trying
to build it stronger each time
so
you don't have to see me like this again.
not
because
you care or
it hurts but
because
you'd rather see the lie
the lie that bottles my poison
and toxic-waste-dumps it
in my heart.

Don't buy a girl a gold ring when the sun is shining

piercing shafts of light
burn
my eyes
so i smile
and feel alive.
i need the intensity
transforming every color
to gold.
so cheap in jewelry
perfect in nature.
i squint and tear
until
the golden god
drops behind a tree.

Hindsight is bittersweet, but mostly just bitter

Fog encloses everything
within my sight so I cannot see.
But somehow not seeing
or knowing
allows me to see everything clearer
and to know more
at least that's what it feels like.
I look at what my life has been and
I see a broken shell.

Lightning, gummy bears, and shaking hands.

You struck my heart like lightning, flashing across the sky of me in an instant and I'm blinded hoping for you.
Your stupid laugh and tone deaf voice leaves me smiling like they just figured out how to bottle sunshine.
I hate this feeling because it's needy and that's something I never want to be to you.
Every time I see you my hands start shaking and my breath gets short and my face turns a shade of red impossible to hide.
Something about the way you love Heath Ledger and gummy bears makes me think that somehow you would be okay to love.
But you aren't.

Nothing

Innocence is easy and ignorance is bliss- don't argue otherwise. But innocence will always be lost, no matter how hard you try to keep a child in the dark. I'm ready to fall into the twisted world, so let me go.
I'm ready to try my hand at having my own identity, no longer being chained to everything you are. I'm ready to throw off the title of child. So let me go! Let me go before I suffocate! I am not part of you, I left the womb and now I'm ready to leave you behind.
Your pathetic need sickens me, I can't stand to look at you.
I don't know where this is going but I'll be happy as long as it's away.