Chasing You

I don't wanna
be that girl
who chases
that guy
and makes a fool of herself.
Why should I?

You're just
that guy
I barely know
but can't get out
of my head.
Why can't I?

It's not fair
to me
when you look past my smile
and I still give you one.

It's so pathetic
that just a glimpse
of your face
makes my
stomach twist.

It's utterly stupid
that whenever
my phone buzzes
I hope against hope
that it's you.

I can't lose my dignity-
at least, not in public-
by being that girl
that's chasing you.

Falling For You [by Colbie Callait]

So I was listening to this song and I was like......oh goodness welcome to my life.

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better
I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you and me
I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out
I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you
I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)
I’m fallin’ for you
Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

Music Box [by Regina Spektor]

This lovely song was shown to me by my dear friend. [blog--> www.simplyonedaisy.blogspot.com]

Life inside the music box ain't easy.
The mallets hit the gears are always turning
and everyone inside the mechanism
is yearning to get out.
And sing another melody completely
So different from the one they're always singing
I close my eyes and think that I have found me
but then I feel mortality surround me.
I want to sing another melody
so different from the one I always sing
But when I do the dishes
I run the water very very very hot
and then I fill the sink to the top with bubbles of soap
and then I send all the bottle caps i own a float
and it's the greatest voyage in the history of plastic
and then I slip my hands in and start to make waves
and then I dip my tongue in and take a taste
it tastes like soap but it doesn't really taste like soap
and then I lower in my whole mouth in and take a gulp
and start to feel mortality surround me
I close my eyes and think I have found me
but life inside the music box ain't easy
the mallets hit the gears are always turning
and everyone inside the mechanism
is yearning
to get out
and sing another melody completely
is yearning
to get out
is yearning
to get out
is yearning
to get out

NO SCHOOL

HELLO.

My very most wonderful best friend Anna Rosalyn Young and I had a friend date today!

We went to a chinese restaurant and ate yum yum food. And then we saw LOVE HAPPENS with the ever happening Aaron Eckhart. I've decided to be obsessed with him.

So also I'm obsessed with Latin masses and the like.

listen to this please: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdqUtkfLa2w

and fall in LOOOVE with Eric Whitacre like Anna and I did.

It's raining, it's pouring

It's raining,
it's pouring,
the old man is snoring.
He went to bed
and bumped his head
and couldn't get up in the morning.

HOW SICK IS THAT SONG? Like, really? It's about an old man who dies one rainy night! Terrible. But seriously, folks. It's been raining for like 5 weeks. Basically since school started. I am so OVER IT. I'm pretty sure I have that disorder where when it's not nice and sunny outside, I get depressed and tired and stuff. I should have been born a woodland creature. I would be HIBERNATING right now. Mmmm that would be nice. So my whole neighborhood is basically flooded. I have a creek behind my house, and it's running over the road. I can see it out the window, it looks really pretty. Except very muddy. There isn't much flooding in my yard, but my poor dear neighbor's yard is basically a swimming pool. My mother is freaking out, she took me out of school early and is making plans in case our house washes away.

Is it weird that I'm not that worried? I mean, it's just stuff. Life on Earth is soooo temporary, it seems really stupid to freak out about stuff. We should freak out about PEOPLE. I will give a hundred dollars to the person who can figure out how to get all this rain and floodwater to someplace that NEEDS it, like Africa or India. Honestly. Weather is so cruel.

Awww my puppy is scared of the floods. She's whining.

HERE is a song that I like about rain [well, the chorus and bridge]:

Hallelujah, grace like rain
falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains
are washed away, washed away

Let it rain
let it rain
open the flood gates of Heaven
and let it rain....

The Long Walk

Walking down the hall
sad
because
I never see him
anymore.
But no-
today he is there!
I duck my head-
dismay!-
I wear old gray.
Smooth my hair,
check.
Look, is he looking?
No?
Look again...
still no!
Last chance.
Please look.
Please-
gone.
He's gone.
Passed by.
And I walk on.
On to 4th block.
It is a normal day.

Silly blush, high school crush

Soo I've been writing, just not posting. This is from a while ago. About the guy that I am COMPLETELY obsessed with, as you can tell from the poem. A lot of what I've been writing is about him. Oh goodness. I'm such a girl. Here goes.

Blushing and unable
to get you out of my thoughts.
My feelings don't make sense-
I shouldn't have them.
Me and you
seem impossible, because
you seem unaware.
Silly jealousies rise up
for silly reasons.
I duck to hide my smile
when you say my name.
I promise myself
I'll ignore me
unless you speak first.
Why do I still dream of you?
Is it because my heart soars
when the last zinnia petal says-
"He loves me?"

Summer's Breath

As the leaves turn brown,
I turn empty.

While days grow short,
I grow sluggish.

Each dreary morn,
my eyes beg to close.

As Winter clasps
his hands around my neck,
Summer's breath
is forced from my lungs.

Choose Something like a Star [Robert Frost, 1947]

O Star [the fairest one in sight]
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obsurity of cloud--
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.

Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.

It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.

Count on Me

Don't make me choose
between all of you
or none,
'cause I promise,
I swear,
you won't like the result.

Don't make me pick
between no fence
or a Jericho wall,
'cause I promise,
I swear,
the wall won't be tumblin' down.

When it comes
to all or nothing,
count on me
to count you out.

Edgar Allan Poe- Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Langston Hughes

A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

A New Song

I speak in the name of the black millions

Awakening to action.

Let all others keep silent a moment

I have this word to bring,

This thing to say,

This song to sing:

Bitter was the day

When I bowed my back

Beneath the slaver's whip.

That day is past.

Bitter was the day

When I saw my children unschooled,

My young men without a voice in the world,

My women taken as the body-toys

Of a thieving people.

That day is past.

Bitter was the day, I say,

When the lyncher's rope

Hung about my neck,

And the fire scorched my feet,

And the oppressors had no pity,

And only in the sorrow songs

Relief was found.

That day is past.

I know full well now

Only my own hands,

Dark as the earth,

Can make my earth-dark body free.

O thieves, exploiters, killers,

No longer shall you say

With arrogant eyes and scornful lips:

"You are my servant,

Black man-

I, the free!"

That day is past-

For now,

In many mouths-

Dark mouths where red tongues burn

And white teeth gleam-

New words are formed,

Bitter

With the past

But sweet

With the dream.

Tense,

Unyielding,

Strong and sure,

They sweep the earth-

Revolt! Arise!

The Black

And White World

Shall be one!

The Worker's World!

The past is done!

A new dream flames

Against the

Sun!

Possibly my favorite poem by Mr. Dunce so far!

Dream of a Midsummer's Night

It was night;
The final night.
And it was beautiful,
Down to the veil
Concealing her apologetic eyes
As she turned
From me and walked to the priest.
I looked down.
Couldn't bear to watch,
Couldn't bear to listen,
Couldn't bear to speak
Nor cry.
It seemed as though
Nothing
Acknowledged me.
The warm summer stars,
Mingling chatter,And flirtations of lily and
Rose petals
And tulips on Hummingbird
Lips
Stole from the warmth within my
Body,
Leaving me cold.

Detached
From my hollow eyes,
My hopeless heart-
Hands!
Oh, wondrous touch
Turns my pathless feet
In a new direction.
Silence,
Save for the dying murmurs
Behind us and
The crunching of shoes
On gravel.
I turn
And see the eyes,
Old,
Familiar,
Sympathetic to my pain,
But averted.
Scared to see the pain in my eyes,
But they know.
And I know they know.
And they know I know they know,
So
I look down
And walk with the guiding arms on my shoulders
In silence.

...When?
When did the silence
Turn
Into music?
And the gravel?
It ended?
But the eyes!
Oh, the eyes!
Sparkling,
Laughing,
Dancing in the moonlight.
And my eyes-
Hollow, black holes,
Absorb the light-
Fill,
Shine!
And my traitorous feet
Move with theirs.
And we dance.
And their joy becomes mine
And their tears become mine
And as we shower the flowers
With bittersweet rain,
Our laughs echo
With the ringing church bells
And we cry
Like the giddy, hopeless children
That we are.

It was night;
The final night.
And it was beautiful.

Stuff that you might have already read

Old favorites! :]

Religion*

Shallow comfort
and empty peace.
This is Christ?

Cold shoulders
and two faces.
This is the Church?

What has society
warped us into?
Christians with dead faith.

When we were dead,
He offered us life!

When we were hurt,
He soothed our pain.

Lord, cast away!
Cast away my fear
of being judged.

Lord, strengthen me!
Give me strength
to glorify You!

Take away
my shallow desires
of worldly things.

Break the chains
of my inhibition.
I want to live like Christ.

*This isn't actually old. I wrote it like last night.

Isaiah 41:13**

Fill me up
Fill me up
take away my leprosy
Take away the pain.

Fill me up
Fill me up
I promise to give you
everything I have.

You've wiped away my shame
now I am guiltless.
I am empty
needing to be filled.

Only you
only you
I have died
no longer a slave.

"Do not fear!"
Isaiah cries-
his words,
Your words are true.

How can we fear?
The Lord of Lords,
King of Kings,
holds us in His hand!

What is faith?
It is believing
That the Creator has told us
He knows each hair on our head.

This world of science and skeptics
scoff and patronize.
Laughing, they call His Word
mere bedtime stories.

**I edited out the last bit because it didn't work really.

Childhood Summers

Sunlight streams to the earth, and
the leaves turn to emeralds.
Catching the light every which way.

The breeze,
soft, sweet, and smelling of childhood summers,
kisses my face.

The bumble bees bumble-hum bye,
the soft bzz-bzz mixing with the sound of a distant John Deere.
The gentle perfume of fresh cut grass
mingled with a tinge of gasoline and asphault
make up the summer air.

It's hot hot hot
but it feels so good.
Turning my face to the true blue sky,
my heart starts to smile
and I pray
a simple Thank You.

Ouch

Head pounding
Eyes aching
I squint into that bright, hateful light.
How could sunshine be my enemy?
I guess headaches turn the world
u
p
s
i
d
e

d
o
w
n
.

Truth

Truth is a word that's lost it's meaning.
Lies run wild
and the people are screaming.

I swear I'm telling the truth!
he cries,
he lies.

He sleeps at night,
dreaming sweet dreams.
Truth?
What is truth?

Truth is a word that's lost it's meaning.

A nameless face
among the blur.

Tell me the truth.
What?

Desperate

Standing on the brink
of meltdown- Mach Four.
Crazy thoughts racing-
I'm about to hit the floor.

Dying to jump and scream
"This isn't me!
A lot is expected
but I'm not who I'm expected to be!"

I know I can't please everyone,
believe me, I won't try.
But I can't stand your lectures,
your judgment, or your lie.

I'm not my father,
I'm not my mother.
I can only be me,
not any other.

The stress is too much,
it's pulling me under.
I'm always in tears,
or making a blunder.

I can't do this any more,
you heard me, I'm done.
I won't live this life,
'cuz it sure ain't fun.

Maybe you thought I was strong
and maybe I was once.
But this world is hard,
makes you feel like a dunce.

I've been punched in the gut
once too many times,
seen too much heartache,
and too many crimes.

The fight is not in me,
my passion burned out.
Is silence really golden?
Cuz they sound like they know what they're about.

So this is good-bye
so long, and farewell.
Don't ask me why,
I've told everything left to tell.

Help

Wide eyes staring
heat flashes down my skin
hurrying
scurrying
those staring eyes averted
mind & heartbeat racing.
Thinking
I'm no one, I promise, I'm no one.
If they see me
I'm worse than dead, I'm broken.
My careful mask and sickly sweet smile destroyed.
They'll see through my lies,the cover-ups
I'm no one, I promise , I'm no one.
Mocking laughter,
in my head
my own
mocking
laughter
But don't you wish you were someone?
You're pathetic.
You'll never be anyone,
just another faceless name
among the herd.
Following forever.

Phoenix

Like smoke,
beauty is gone.
Blown away by
the bitter wind of sin.

Our hearts and souls,
minds and bodies,
are mangled, dirty,
and twisted without You.

But like a phoenix,
Christ has risen me
above the ashes of this broken and burning world.

How beautiful is the sweet release.
How free am I
captured in His arms.
He will catch me when I fall.

Welcome to my Brain

HA! And you thought you were just reading a blog. Nope. This blog is actually a window in to my brain. I will mostly be posting poetry, possibly a few rants, maybe some quotes that I like, maybe the poetry of my dear friends Mr. Dunce and P.M. Flash. Who knows what else will turn up in my crazy brain?
Maybe pictures that I find on flickr.com. Because that website is home to some truly gifted photographers. Maybe the photography of my dear friend Elle Belle, who really should be known around the world.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy it once I actually get some stuff up!