Eyes Burning

Eyes burning as I stare at the clock, I stare at the clock and still wonder what time it is. Hours pass in seconds and seconds take an hour. So I turn, eyes still burning, to gaze at the floor. Unidentifiable feelings well up within me, deep from my soul and even from the shallows of the outmost corners of my brain and I wail. I wail for the falling petals of the daffodils outside, I cry for the people whose smiles aren't returned. I sob for the helplessness that consumes my very being right now, so helpless I can't even control my weeping. Wrapped tight in an expected but unwanted embrace- not unwanted enough to shrug away but not wanted enough to ask for- my tears fall on your shoulder and you understand, at least you think you do. The quick unfulfilling breaths I take shake my body and I cough, almost vomit with the effort of breathing and standing and being and thinking. 'Look to God' you tell me, 'He has the answers.' I know this, know this down in the depths of my brain but somehow my heart has forgotten and I can't make it remember. All I can say to Him is help. Help me, because I don't know what's wrong. And so, eyes burning, I look back to the clock and finally comprehend the time.